BUY BUY BUY!

The screaming. The yelling. The kicking. The rolling on the floor of the toy aisle because they want it, whatever it is, and “momma said no!” I’ve witnessed this so many times. And often I’ve seen parents just give in. Why? Because they are tired. And they don’t want to deal with the yelling and screaming anymore. So, yes, you can have that toy. But then every other shopping trip, they are asking for a toy again. Because they got you once. They think that they deserve it for every shopping trip there after. 

Is there another way than either just saying no or giving in?

This is what we do: When my son asks for a toy, I tell him that we can put it on his Wish Wist. Once he puts it on his wishlist he is done. He may talk about how awesome it will be when he gets it (which we kindly remind him he may not get) but the desire for it NOW is gone. Because he got it. Sort of.

What is the Wish List? For us it is a list created on Amazon. But it can either be an app or a note on your phone. The key is that it is something that can be referred back to at a later point.  

I am not the originator of the Wish List, but I think the way we implement is a bit different. We set the expectation early on that there are only two points of the year when our kids will get presents. Birthdays and Christmas. That’s it. And it our family it works because its roughly 6 months between each event. 

Does that mean I never buy them stuff they need like clothes? No. Those aren’t gifts, they are necessities. Its is still considered bad form to walk around naked. However, if they want something special, like shoes, that is super expensive, then that goes on the Wish List. 

The hard part is getting relatives on board. Grandparents love to buy stuff for the kids. I guess because of some of the issues I went through growing up, it really bothers me. I’d prefer they spend time with the kids. They don’t need stuff to prove that you love them. They need you (your time and support.) It also makes it easy for the relatives, because at gift giving times all you have to do is refer them to the Wish List and they have a curated selection of things that the kids actually want. I would suggest having the kids look over the list periodically because that toy they couldn’t live without in January could be old news come June.

My older kid is 6 and started getting an allowance on his birthday. That means he can buy whatever he wants right? Technically he can. But after the first month when he bought himself a small lego, he’s been saving his money to buy something bigger from his Wish List. The need to have it now is tempered (by the Wish List) and he can actually wait to have it.

This may seem like a lot of work, and yes it can be. For us it is well worth the effort. Firstly because I hate dealing with tantrums. The Wish List really helps cut down on them. And secondly, because we are in a financial position that we do not want for anything, and I am trying to teach my children the value of money. It is not some magical thing that appears and can be used willy-nilly. We have tried to let them know that it is something that is earned with work. That sometimes you might not have enough for something, and that you need to save in order to get what you want. It is an ever evolving thing for us. The next lesson we will teach is philanthropy. But that is for another day.